


the failed bread thief

by Tallowwood



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Geoff thinks of the potential, Hacker Gavin Free, Homeless Gavin Free, Incredulous Ryan Haywood sort of, Other, Pre-Fake AH Crew, Spooked Michael Jones, trash monkey boi Gavin stealing bread in the night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 04:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19077631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallowwood/pseuds/Tallowwood
Summary: trash boi tries to steal from the Fakes and would've gotten away with it if it weren't for that meddling Michael.





	the failed bread thief

**Author's Note:**

> idk, a thing my brain decided to make.

Michael scrubbed at his eyes, aggravated.

“What the fuck was that noise?” 

No one answered him, though; alone in his room as he was.

Another clatter bounced throughout the suite outside, pushing the sleepy hothead to scrunch up his face and swipe a torch from his bedside table.

“I swear to fuck if Ryan’s making another human pie for a rival gang, his dicks going in the recipe" he muttered, swinging open his door and bracing against the burst of cold air. 

With a dull click, the flashlight switched on and Michael stomped into the hallway towards the kitchen- only to falter when he noted the lack of light.

Now, he might be a big bad explosion-loving bad guy, but that didn’t mean he had no fear; so, when presented with strange sounds coming from a dark room, his mind went places.

He lowered himself into a defensive position, taking controlled breaths as his heart quickened in preparation.

He covered the torch beam with a twitching hand and glided over to the kitchen entrance with long, measured strides.

Muscles tightened, and he leaned around the corner. It was too dark to see much, but something definitely seemed to be moving in there.

Fuck why didn’t he bring a fucking gun, fucking shit this was going to suck- the squeak of a cabinet door fractured the silence and Michael leapt around the corner brandishing the light at the source.

“The fuck?” 

There, in the kitchen was a scraggly young man staring back at him with a bag of bread in each hand.

“who the hell, are you?” 

Instead of answering, they suddenly burst into action, scuttling over the counter into the living room and making a break for the door.

Michael jerked in surprise, instinctively hurling the torch at the retreating form- and in a stroke of luck, nailed the back of his head.

Mystery man went down like a tone of bricks and didn’t get back up.

The demolition expert of the crew grimaced as he scooted over to the downed body “did I kill him?”

Just as he was checking, a door slammed in the hallway and Geoff stomped out into the room with them “what the heck’s going on out here? I was probably having one of the best dreams of my life- and why’s there a dead body on the floor?!”

“Well, he’s not dead,” Michael piped up, turning to his boss “and I just sort of found him raiding our pantry.”

The Kingpin blinked, looking down at the pile of twigs somehow passing for a human “how the shit did he get IN, though?”

They continued to stare down at the boy.

“I have… No idea.”

===========================================================================

Gavin woke up in a bed.

And whilst that was highly unusual in and of itself, the fact there was suddenly a gun hovering over his face was slightly more disturbing.

“Uh-.”

“Who are you and how did you get into our house?” a rough voice growled, the gun pressing closer.

“Ha-ha-Hacked the door” he stuttered, trembling under the pistols dull glint. He’d been in some nasty situations before, but this wasn’t a back alley, it was a secure room with a well-armed hostile; he didn’t dare to even look at his captor.

The creak of leather caught his attention, and suddenly a skull masked figure was leaning over him menacingly “HOW did you hack the door?”

Gavin wanted to curl up into a ball, but held deathly still instead, breath quickening as the icy blue eyes within the mask pierced through him “I ju-just did, it was-s-sn’t that hard.”

“Okay, then. WHY did you break into our house, specifically?”

“I was just bored! Felt I ne-ne-needed a challenge whilst stealing food for myself! Nothing per-per-personal, I swear!” this time Gavin DID curl up, rolling onto his side and taking a fetal position.

“… You were bored… So, you managed to hack into a high-security penthouse and try snatching some bread… For entertainment?!” the man growled above him, stepping back out of sheer bewilderment.

“Something li-li-like that?”

===========================================================================

Ryan shook his head, stepping out of the spare room and locking it behind him.

A cough sounded behind him and he turned to face the rest of the Fakes.

“So?” Geoff asked, raising an eyebrow over clasped hands.

“The kid’s homeless, hacked into our base to steal food because he thought the extra security was fun. He’s from Britain but ended up here through some bad gambles. That’s all I could really get before he passed out again.”

Jack was the first to notice the glint in their boss’s eye “what’re you thinking?”

Geoff grinned “I’m thinking we just found ourselves the crews’ hacker.”


End file.
